My mom worked at various jobs – she worked as a homemaker, a bank teller, a bartender. Will there be any bartenders up there in heaven, will the pubs never close? If you truly love me, kill the bartender. Only one way to cover a story like this, and make that a double, bartender, please. You know you’re in trouble when the bartender cries. Give us one more, two more, three more glasses of beer. I like the sound the glass makes when the bartender puts on the counter. I love to go to the bar close by for a good espresso and have a chat with the bartender.Īnyway, whacking a surly bartender ain’t much of a crime. I was an amazing bartender and a great waiter. Lady bartenders live a tougher life than anybody knows. I toured Ontario in ’48, in the touring company The Drunkard. Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of scotch.Įvery time I read a Jane Austen novel, I feel like a bartender at the gates of heaven. Short Quotes for BartendersĪ theory that you can’t explain to a bartender is probably no damn good. I wouldn’t say I was the best bartender in New York, but I could hold my own. When bartenders are responsible for drunk drivers’ acts, and gunmakers are responsible for criminals’ acts, and nobody is responsible for O. I believe that in your heart you already know something is profoundly wrong. And without a bartender, who at home are you going to tell your troubles to? Your dog? No one ever made history in the living room. The professional bartender has the convenience of a daily fresh produce delivery to the restaurant or bar room door. The difference between a rich drunk and a poor one is that a rich one tells his problems to a psychiatrist and a poor one tells his to a bartender. When you look at it that way, it’s not that much fun. I mean, I’ve had bartenders and waiters and waitresses make a comment about a joke of mine, like pointing out some sort of logic error or something that I’ve never even thought about, and they’re right.Įveryone feels like they would love to be a really cool bartender in a really cool bar, but you’re still surrounded by people who want to destroy themselves with alcohol. You’ll enjoy these margarita quotes and captions. He had a habit of remarking to bartenders that he didn’t see any sense in mixing whiskey with water since the whiskey was already wet. The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid. Bartender says, “Where’d you get the pig?” Guy says, “This is a duck.” Bartender says, “I was talking to the duck.” Guy goes into a bar with a duck under his arm. He said to the bartender, ‘Whiskey and ice.’ The bartender said, ‘There’s no ice.’ The American said, ‘I’ll have water.’ He said, ‘You can’t. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.Īn American goes into an Irish pub. Then I started thinking about how cool it was.Īlways do sober what you said you’d do drunk. I could finally quit my job as a bartender and stop dreaming that I might be Superman and know that I was. If Jesus was a bartender, He would still only be half as cool as Carlos.Ī duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks, what’ll it be? The duck doesn’t answer because it’s a duck. You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender. That’s the magic of being a bartender- the sleight of hand at play, to hide all the work and serve up all the pleasure.īartenders recognize through practice what liquid increments look like in a standard mixing glass.Ī bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. A good bartender has to be part philosopher, part psychiatrist, part psychic.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |